The sun warms my face as I listen to the soft rustle of autumn leaves and the faraway bark of a dog while I sit on my back porch. I sigh in pleasure at the musty smell of leaves and the brightness of the clear blue sky. This moment of peace and tranquility is something new for me. My world has been the scream of an electric guitar playing the same lick over and over as I stifle the urge to knock on my son’s door one more time and ask him to please find some headphones. Or the mindless entertainment of the latest reality TV show that my daughter has on. But for now, all I hear are the sounds of my Creator’s music. This is a good thing, I tell myself.
I am adjusting to a new season in my life. This isn’t something that I can try on like a new pair of pants at the store and discard if I don’t like them. This season is here to stay. I’ve passed the “raising my children” season and am on to the “empty nest” season of life. No more running after a toddler to wipe his runny nose or waking up in the middle of the night to soothe a crying child. No more cleaning out the Big Wheel that someone decided to use as a toilet since he couldn’t be bothered to stop playing and make it to the bathroom. No more listening to a teen complain about the social injustices of high school or even youth group. This is a good thing, I tell myself.
I know that many women might think that I am crazy to not embrace this new season with abandon. Isn’t it the goal of every parent to have finished this stage of the race? I never thought I would feel like I was 18 again struggling with what to do with the rest of my life. I had already answered that question and now I am faced with it once more. Is this a good thing, I wonder? Now I can act on my interests and desires like writing and speaking. Things that have been carefully stuffed in the back of the closet like clothes that don’t fit anymore but are kept because we just know that someday we’ll be able to pull them out again.
So now it is someday. I will dust off my dreams and sit on the porch to spend time reading the Word and hearing from the One who made me and knows the desires of my heart. I will take joy and pleasure in seeking Him as I start this new season that is the next step on life’s journey. And while I grieve for what once was, I look forward to experiencing all that He is setting before me. Obedience will bring fresh awareness of His long-term plan. This is a good thing, I know.
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5 comments:
How beautiful and touching. Thank you for sharing from the depths of your heart. May GOD touch you in a special way as you seek HIM in word and follow HIS lead into this new season of life.
Blessings and prayers, andrea
PS: urgent prayer request on arise 2 write.
Thank you for sharing, Elaine. I know how hard this love-hate season can be. My remedy? Grandkids! lol
Wow - did you just climb inside my heart and write out all the thoughts of my mind for everyone to see? How dare you! I'm afraid to try those dreams on again - what if they don't fit? (like so many of the other things in my closet that fit the me of yesteryear....) Faith is so simple, but yet so hard to put into action sometimes..... I guess that's why it's called faith. The priciples of dieting sound simple too, but just ask anyone who's every tried to lose weight.... was it easy to implement? Well, okay, was it easy to implement for more than a day? : )
They're gone. We raised them well. We're proud of who they are. But yet we hear as echos from the back of our heart, 'My plan for you isn't finished yet. I have much more for you to do...'
But when it feels like raising your children was your whole life's passion, it's hard to imagine something else as good coming along. Yet that same voice whispers, 'The best is yet to come.'
How can it be? But if He says so, I'm bound to believe Him.
I rushed right into motherhood - why do I hold back now?
Sorry to intrude fellow ACFW members in Phoenix, but I came to your site to see what activities you have there. Then I read this posting. Amazing, the way God works when we don’t even ask. My son got married, moved to Phoenix because of a great job. He’s been there for a year and I cry at the drop of a hat. My husband says I need to fly down there more often, so I thought I might want to see what is happening in your chapter. I homeschooled my three children and he was the first to go off to college, got his Masters in Statistics. But, Oh... my, when my youngest went off to school and I actually had a empty nest, I cried all the time that year. She came home one day and suggested for me to take some college classes. I did and that’s when I started writing. That was one of my many dreams before kids and marriage.
I’m adjusting to my new life. There are times like when it snows and the kids aren’t making small snowmen or making hot chocolate to drink in front of the fireplace. It is God’s plan and we will make it through with His loving help. S o m e h o w...
Kathy Cohea in Tulsa, Oklahoma
Beautiful. So beautiful.
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