Confessions of a NaNoWriMo Writer

Like many of you I've joined the NaNoWriMo challenge of writing a 50,000 word novel during November.

I did this last year, and hardly anyone I knew was doing it. This year, all but one of my nine-member face-to-face critique group have signed up and are writing away. And many more on the Colorado loop have joined the challenge as well. (I still haven't added everyone to my buddy list; I will!)

Then I started with a premise and a very basic knowledge of my main characters (I knew their names and one characteristic/fact about them), and I knew who the villain (murderer) was and his motive. Other than that, it was total seat-of-the-pants. This year, I have well-developed main characters and villain, thanks to Jeff Gerke's Character Creation for the Plot-First Novelist. And I have a three-page synopsis outlining the plot.

Last year, I wrote every weekday, mostly meeting my goal of 3000 words per day. I took weekends off. This year so far, I've written two days for a grand total of just less than 5000 words. Sigh. Most of it is timing. Before I committed to NaNoWriMo, I took on several editing projects that were supposed to be done earlier this week. For various reasons, I'm still working on two big ones, with extended deadlines. And that has me backed up into other originally well-spaced deadlines. So . . . already I'm struggling.

When I bogged down last year in the middle weeks of writing, I took an entire day just to write. It worked well: hubby was working in Mesa, AZ; our son who lives at home was away that day and evening; and our daughter was living/working in London, England. No distractions. And I wrote myself through the slump and into the final third of the book where it flowed easily to the end. This year, I'm hoping to schedule at least three of those days . . . just not sure when yet.

It can be done. The Lord urged me into this at the last minute last year, and He enabled to meet that seemingly impossible goal. Sensing the Lord's nudging again this year, I signed up a little earlier, got my mind more organized, and had great hopes for accomplishing this goal again. It didn't seem so impossible this year. But guess what? Here I am on November 6, wondering how I'm going to hit 10,000 words, let alone over 50,000!

And this morning in my quiet time, it hit me that once again I've set out to meet a goal in my own strength. But, thankfully, this time I realized it much sooner than I have done in similar situations in the past. I cannot do anything without Christ. But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. So . . . with God's help, I'm going to relax. My editing schedule changes are not a surprise to Him. He knew when He nudged me into this that I would be facing different challenges. He knows this book is way over my head and abilities to write. That's the way He planned it. And it won't be me who accomplishes the goal to get this rough draft written this month. It will be Christ who does that, through me.

Marjorie Vawter, the ACFW Colorado Area Coordinator, is a freelance editor and writer.

I Love You, You Love Me

You know the look. You're jabbering happily along to a non-writer type and suddenly she goes into zombie mode. Her eyes glaze over, face becomes expressionless, and she starts edging away.

You should have known she wouldn't care about every minutia in the development of the interior journey of your favorite movie character . . . or of your struggles with plot development, or even your angst about the writing journey. But you went off, talking about your passions, and in that moment your best friend would have preferred Barney to your company (even though he is big, purple, sappy, and sings irritating songs).

It used to really hurt my feelings. I mean I love my friend, she loves me, and I thought we were a happy family. So why doesn't she care about what I care about?

I even got this kind of stuff from my family. I mean why didn't the kids what to hear me read the next chapter of my WIP? And why hasn't my husband read my novels? Sure he prefers football to chick flicks and biographies to romances, but shouldn't he care that my hero and heroine finally found their way past all the obstacles?

And so what if I'm sobbing at the computer? Does it really matter that the kid who got nailed by a speeding car exists only in my imagination? He's in a coma for heavens sake! Shouldn't I get a little sympathy?

Thankfully the writer's journey has taught me a few things about relationship over the last eight years. First, I now know my friends and family really can love me to pieces even if they don't want to read my latest manuscript or have a philosophical discussion about why a character responds to life as he does.

Non-writer types just don't have the capacity for all this. They love me, not my world, and want the bottom line. Am I okay? Did I sell something? Get a good (or bad) review? They care how I'm managing this crazy world called a writer's journey even though they don't want to know many details about what that looks like.

Another thing I've learned is there are strange types who don't hear voices in their heads. They never discover a whole story line in the way the gal scanning their groceries glimpses discreetly over her shoulder at the buff guy moping aisle 4. And it really does take massive amounts of effort for them to relate to those of us who do.

My husband may not read every chapter I write, but he has to put up with my brooding as I'm discovering a new character or waiting for that rejection letter or fighting writer's block. And my kids my not want to hear about what I write, but they believe I'm a writer even when I don't. Maybe all that pounding of the keyboard convinced them something real is going on and they believe it even on the days I don't.

And my friends? They give me wide berth when I'm under a deadline. Despite my neglect they believe that I really do still love them and will come back to the real world when I wrap up the one I'm creating. Until then they wait patiently for me to return to them.

The other really important thing I've learned is I have a great need for people who DO hear voices. Some of my happiest, safest places are wherever writers gather. They get me. They understand my angst. They, too, wonder about interior motivates and strange plot twists. And it's probably 4 a.m. before their eyes start to glaze over when I talk about such things.

See, while we need those weird creatures who live firmly grounded in reality, we also need a place where we make sense to our fellow sojourners.

So, my dear friends who hear voices, be patient with the non-writers in your life. Save most of that word count about the writing world for your writing buddies. Take time to develop healthy relationships in your writing community.

And the next time you go to crit group or your local ACFW chapter meeting, greet those buddies with a great big hug and a kiss from you to them.

And they'll say they love you, too.


A writer, speaker, and homeschooling mother of four, Paula Moldenhauer is passionate about God’s grace and intimacy with Jesus. Her devotional website, Soul Scents, offers a free weekly devotional and you can visit her blog at GraceReign. Paula serves as president of HIS Writers. A devoted Pride and Prejudice fan, she loves good conversation, peppermint ice cream, and walking barefoot. Her greatest desire is to be close enough to Jesus to live His fragrance.

A New Journey, Writing Included

The sun warms my face as I listen to the soft rustle of autumn leaves and the faraway bark of a dog while I sit on my back porch. I sigh in pleasure at the musty smell of leaves and the brightness of the clear blue sky. This moment of peace and tranquility is something new for me. My world has been the scream of an electric guitar playing the same lick over and over as I stifle the urge to knock on my son’s door one more time and ask him to please find some headphones. Or the mindless entertainment of the latest reality TV show that my daughter has on. But for now, all I hear are the sounds of my Creator’s music. This is a good thing, I tell myself.

I am adjusting to a new season in my life. This isn’t something that I can try on like a new pair of pants at the store and discard if I don’t like them. This season is here to stay. I’ve passed the “raising my children” season and am on to the “empty nest” season of life. No more running after a toddler to wipe his runny nose or waking up in the middle of the night to soothe a crying child. No more cleaning out the Big Wheel that someone decided to use as a toilet since he couldn’t be bothered to stop playing and make it to the bathroom. No more listening to a teen complain about the social injustices of high school or even youth group. This is a good thing, I tell myself.

I know that many women might think that I am crazy to not embrace this new season with abandon. Isn’t it the goal of every parent to have finished this stage of the race? I never thought I would feel like I was 18 again struggling with what to do with the rest of my life. I had already answered that question and now I am faced with it once more. Is this a good thing, I wonder? Now I can act on my interests and desires like writing and speaking. Things that have been carefully stuffed in the back of the closet like clothes that don’t fit anymore but are kept because we just know that someday we’ll be able to pull them out again.

So now it is someday. I will dust off my dreams and sit on the porch to spend time reading the Word and hearing from the One who made me and knows the desires of my heart. I will take joy and pleasure in seeking Him as I start this new season that is the next step on life’s journey. And while I grieve for what once was, I look forward to experiencing all that He is setting before me. Obedience will bring fresh awareness of His long-term plan. This is a good thing, I know.

Is Your Heart Ready?

On the heels of Paula's excellent post about writing being an act of worship, the post the Lord has laid on my heart to write today is similar, but different.

This year the Lord has been busy telling me that it's time for me to start writing again—not just in fits and starts, not just devotionals (several of which I wrote and sold last year and early this year). It took a while for me to take His urgings seriously. But in July I almost literally got smacked upside the head with it.

Within a four-day period, He spoke through my agent, Joyce Hart, His Word, and Marlene Bagnull, my dear friend and mentor. All said essentially the same thing: It's time to stop playing and get serious about this. Now it wasn't that I didn't understand His previous urgings, it was more a matter of what I would have to give up in order to write. It meant that I was going to have to step out on faith, turn down some editing projects, and trust Him to cover the resulting loss of income.

Yes, five years ago the Lord told me it was time to retire from teaching at our Christian school and go full-time with editing and writing. He tremendously blessed the editing, and I got so busy with that, relying on that income, that to write meant going back to no income, or substantially less than the editing brings in. Now He was asking me to trust Him with my writing, too. And I was dragging my feet.

The slap the Lord gave me came through my husband. Just before we left on a trip to San Diego in the middle of July, Marlene sent an e-mail encouraging me to consider taking the next step. In fact, she was insisting I take it. *smile* I shot off a quick response, saying I would pray about it over our long weekend. So in the truck a couple of hours later, I shared it with my husband. Knowing I'd already had a meeting with Joyce and how the Lord had been speaking to me through His Word, Roger looked at me and said, "What's there to pray about? How clear do you want the Lord to make it?"

Ummm . . . ouch! And here I thought I was being all super-spiritual by saying I would pray about the next step. LOL

I wish I could say things changed immediately. They didn't. I'm still trying to find the balance between editing and writing. I know there is one because He hasn't told me to quit editing altogether. In fact, He's sent me new clients and opened up other doors to expand that side of the business. But He has also opened up new opportunities to write, both for immediate income and long-term possibilities.

Now the Lord is showing me how He's been preparing my heart to "write His answer" through the stories He's given me to write. Peter wrote in 1 Peter 3:15 (MSG), "Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you're living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy."

Incorporating a spiritual thread into my stories is an area I struggle with. But this week, the Lord has impressed on me that as long as my focus is on Jesus Christ in worship, the spiritual thread He wants in my books will show up. Out of the abundance of the heart, I write, speak, worship.

So is my heart ready? Am I spending time with Him, getting to know Him through the love letter He's written to us? And the more I know Him, the more He is reflected in all I do and say. That is my prayer for me, for all of us.





Marjorie Vawter is the ACFW Colorado Area Coordinator, a freelance editor, and writer.

Writing As an Act of Worship

I love that time between slumber and awake when my soul is more open to HIS Voice. I especially love it when He speaks. He whispered sweet somethings to me twice this week. The first time it happened I struggled to pull out of asleep as I thought, it's another day, Lord. What should we do with it?

His immediate response was "This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!"

My heart lightened, and I soon stood in the kitchen in my nightgown making hash browns and humming to a worship CD. Now before you think I'm spiritual, or a good mom 'cause I made breakfast, or even entertain the thought that I must be a morning person, let me clarify that both of those actions are rare. Mornings and I don't get along, and I have not praised the Lord as I wish I had over this last year of struggles. It is one of my greatest regrets.

Maybe that's why I felt so inadequate as I began preparation to speak at Mile High Scribes on Writing as an Act of Worship. It wasn't a topic I picked, and my recent whining about the writing journey didn't feel at all like worship. But the Good Lord confronts that nonsense--that "I'm not good enough to serve" mentality I slip into way too easily. I'd planned to tell you how He did this, but I just found out I'm speaking again Saturday on this topic, and well . . . if you want to know the whole story, I guess you'd better come to W!W!W! at 11:00.

So instead of giving you any more hints into the content of my presentation, I'd like to challenge you to just slow down for a minute or two. Breathe in and out. Acknowledge the One who is Author of All and Most Creative Being of Eternity.

Notice how your heart worships.

A writer, speaker, and homeschooling mother of four, Paula Moldenhauer is passionate about God’s grace and intimacy with Jesus. Paula’s writing appears in magazines, book compilations, and devotionals. Most recently she’s written curriculum for David C. Cook publishing. Her devotional website, Soul Scents, offers a free weekly devotional. (www.SoulScents.us.) Paula serves as president of HIS Writers, the north Denver chapter of ACFW, and enjoys leading a Bible study group for high school girls. A devoted Pride and Prejudice fan, Paula loves good conversation, peppermint ice cream, and walking barefoot. Her greatest desire is to be close enough to Jesus to live His fragrance.