This past Wednesday was my day to blog about “resurrection.” But no matter how long I sat at my computer, nothing decent seemed to come out. So I closed up shop and decided to wait until Thursday. Surely Thursday I would feel inspired.
Thursday came and went. Nothing. Same with Friday. Nothing. Now it’s Saturday. In desperation I prayed, “Lord, where is my resurrection piece?”
His answer? “Your resurrection is in May.”
“Okay, Lord," I said. You should know more than anyone else, we celebrated Your Son’s resurrection last week. That would be April, not May.”
“Yes, I know," He answered. But your resurrection is in May.”
Now, I’ve always been a fan of a good mystery, but not when it has to do with my life. So I don’t think anyone would be surprised to hear me say I wasn’t satisfied with God’s answer. I wanted…no needed…to know more.
“Lord, we’re talking about my life right now, not some fiction book, so I really need to know what the heck is going on in May that would cause You to say that.”
In my mind’s eye I saw Him smile. Not a broad grin, but that quirky little smile He gives me whenever He has something special up His sleeve.
“What?” I asked. “Why are you smiling like that? What's going on in May?”
And that's all He said.
Suddenly my mind started filling with all the happenings of next month: one daughter will be graduating from high school and moving on to college, another daughter will be graduating from college and moving on to the career of her dreams, my only son will be asking his girlfriend of four years to marry him, and I will be on the road to becoming a grandmother…again.
So many old seeds dying. So many new seeds coming to life. And my life will change with each one.
I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. –John 12:24 NIV
Then the picture became clear: All these seeds of mine were falling to the ground—seeds from my tree of life, seeds that needed to fall away so that they could burrow deep within the richness of God’s soil and become healthy trees of their own, bearing fruit and seeds from which many new trees would come. And with the falling of these seeds came another simple truth: God was clearing my plate so that He and I could write. So that He could resurrect the story He gave me over ten years ago.
It’s hard to let go. To let those seeds fall. But if they’re going to fall to the ground, who better to trust than the LORD Himself, Gardener of Life.
Yup, my resurrection month is May. And though my heart aches for the seeds that are passing on, I rejoice in knowing that another seed will soon be sprouting from my soil: The seed of writing His story.